January 2009
10 posts
Titles To Books In The Harry Potter Series That...
I don’t know beans about Harry Potter. I suppose I’ll catch up on the films someday. But, as of now, the following collections of words sound as much like dark sexual favors as books chronicling a young wizards journey into manhood. Just add, “D’you give ‘er the ol’,” to complete this most immature exercise. 1. The Philosopher’s Stone 2. The...
Jan 28th
This Makes Water Come Out My Eye.
The DJ at Ralph’s plays this every time I end up shopping for groceries there. He seems to know I buy food pretty recklessly when I am terribly sad. More songs from my personal candles-and-bath times to come.
Jan 24th
MLK Day Observed
No mail tomorrow. No bank business either. Can you imagine a world without MLK? At the very least, righteous speech cadences would sound completely different. That and we’d be twice the backwards country we are today. Here’s something I made forever ago. I’m going to get around to having some dreams.
Jan 19th
Done To Death
Sometimes the only way to kill something too powerful to stop is to push it further along, faster towards its demise, until it is literally done to death. Some wiseacres have made a mixtape called “The Death of Autotune”. If this succeeds in killing it, I’ll help dig the grave. Intro Hand Where My Eyes Can See One More Chance Interestingly enough, I’m...
Jan 15th
Anne Hathaway In ANYTHING!
Anne is trying to break my heart with this one. This is a game she plays to test my dedication to her. I will not falter. Let’s stop playing these games. Get that paper, girl. I know this paycheck of a movie will soon be on DVD and make someone’s distant sister’s birthday just fine.
Jan 10th
Thanks Internet.
This is the best video the internet have provided very long time. I love the suspense and timing of it all. Almost any YouTube video can stand to lose about 45 seconds, but this builds so wonderfully. And the camera pulls out-, well you should just see it. Share this with everyone. I will tell you why after the vid. So, yeah. Right? Every single interogative is a complete mystery to me. I...
Jan 8th
Where Are You Yeezy?
This was a major conundrum of the past year and something that has kept me up late at night. What is to be done with this Kanye West? No doubt, the hard core fans 20 years from now will claim “808s and Heartbreak” as his most misunderstood, and therefor best album. I enjoy the beats because they remind me of 80s action movie synth. I’m more dodgey with the lyrics. They are at...
Jan 6th
Resolve.
I will have a new set of stand-up ready to go by the 26th. The specific weight afforded to web log posts will help me keep to this promise. Stay tuned to this site for beta versions of upcoming bits and bobbles. For what has to one of only a few times in the past 5 years, I am excited do get to work. Godspeed. Doug P.S. Hey, why not leave a comment? It took me hours to figure out how to add...
Jan 4th
Hip Hop Is Dead.
99.99¢ Only Store. January 2, 2009.
Jan 3rd
2009.
I’m doing pretty good on my resolutions. I haven’t had a drink all year. (Bwaahhahaha!) Happy New Year. This is going to be great.
Jan 1st